How a Simple Mindset Shift Turned Chores Into Acts of Love

Does your family grumble about doing the dishes?

Sometimes getting the kids to pitch in with housework feels like a high-stakes negotiation—complete with counteroffers, delays, and dramatic walkouts.

These kids are basically Broadway-ready... 

BRB. Excuse me while I yank the Wi-Fi like it’s a toaster on fire. 

Who’s dramatic now, kids? 

Can you relate? 

I try to gentle parent, but I’m not very gentle. Blame my mother, an ER nurse with no patience for theatrics. (Her infamous words, “But did you die?”). 

I gotta hand it to them though. I don’t want to do the dishes either. And I can be pretty dramatic myself.  

We all can.  

It’s easy to be negative. Our brains are wired to “keep us safe” by naturally leading us to take the path of least resistance. We don’t want to do the work because it is uncomfortable, inconvenient, difficult, etc. 

But the only thing negative thinking does is make us feel awful and to be in constant defense mode. (Our brains are so weird.)  

It makes us inflexible and stuck, leaving us to feel hopeless and unfulfilled. Without choices. 

What if in our unhelpful thoughts, we not only keep our brains weak, but we miss the opportunity to make more meaningful connections with those around us, improving everyone’s lives? 

But what if we can turn that all around? 

What if we didn’t see the dirty dishes as a chore, but as something else entirely?  

Mother Theresa famously said, “Wash the plate not because it is dirty nor because you are told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next.” 

Isn’t that a beautiful thought?  

Having to do the dishes versus choosing to do them as an act of service is a much more useful thought. It gives us agency. It makes us feel lighter, more hopeful, more in charge of our lives. 

What if we applied a more useful mindset to all areas of our life? What if we taught our children to think this way? 

One of my mentors writes down this radical thought every day: “I take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I’m aware I’m responsible for creating the results I have in my life.” 

The incredible thing is that our brains are completely programmable. We get to choose how we think about the task in front of us. Mother Theresa chose to turn her unglamourous work into service to others. In doing so, she changed lives and inspired millions. 

Service helps reduce negativity by providing purpose, which is essential for strengthening our minds. You move from a place of helplessness to feeling like you have a choice. You are empowered. 

But it also helps those we support feel safer and more connected to you, because we aren’t making everything about ourselves. We move from defensiveness and isolation to generosity and community. 

Ask any wife how she feels when her husband cheerfully does the dishes or cooks dinner for the family. Ask any husband how he feels when she gets him a glass of water at night or helps him clean the garage.

Anticipating the needs of others is powerful. 

What areas of your life do you feel led to reimagine? How can you empower yourself to reframe how you think in a way that is more fulfilling to you and in service to others? 

Ask yourself, “Why do I feel like this?” 

"Where are these thoughts coming from?” 

“How can I change how I want to feel right now?” 

“How can my thoughts improve my interactions with others?” 

I’m not talking about forcing yourself to have happy, positive thoughts all the time. I am talking about committing to yourself to examine the thoughts that are holding you back. You are only going to feel blissfully happy a part of the time. The rest of the time, it will require serious effort to reframe how you think. 

Sometimes I reflect on the times someone quietly washed the proverbial dishes for me. I didn’t get it then—but now, I’m in awe of the love behind those small acts. It makes my household chores appear far less tiresome, because I know they have a sacred purpose. 

I’ve come to believe that a more peaceful, meaningful life starts with how we choose to think and what we do with those thoughts. After all, our actions grow from these. And I’m deeply grateful to those who showed me that truth, even when I didn’t know I was learning it. 

Now, back to those dishes.  

It might take me awhile to convince these kiddos that they are loving each other by scraping crusty melted cheese from each other’s plates. (Whyyy is there so much ketchup?)

Queue the eyerolls. 

But it’s a worthy cause because I now realize the fact that someone lovingly did it for me and that changed how I think about everything. 

About our farm

Thank you for choosing to join our family on this grand adventure, as we grow something beautiful, meaningful, and good. If we haven't met yet, I am Sara Wilson, and my husband Teddy and I own Oklahoma Cut Flower Company in Norman, Oklahoma. We are a micro-farm that grows specialty cut flowers to educate and inspire our local flower-loving community. We offer flower subscriptions, educational workshops, and you-pick flower events. We are members of the Association of Specialty Cut Flower Growers.

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